Jamez G.

Creativing Writing.

                                                           

                                                                      Lust .

You wrote to me .. and thats where it all began. We never knew we lived close to each other, so when we first talked we discovered this. Knowing that you were my mans George's girlfriend at the time, we didn't see any harm in becoming close friends. A few days after we talked, i went to meet you around the corner and we walked around our neighborhood for ours. No destination, no time limit, no care in the world. We talked and talked, mostly about senseless nonsense. I made you laugh majority of the time, and i enjoyed seeing your smile spread across your glowing face. You would look in my eyes and then look down as if you were shy to laugh and look at me at the same time. Your little giggle and chuckle was so cute and then we would grasp each others hands not knowing the harm that lie ahead of us. We walked until we found a bench and then we sat down on it. Then we talked about more nonsense.. then thats when it all happened. George's name came up and everything sparked from there, we talked about your relationship with him. You made fun of how he made love to you, you made fun of how he touched you, how he kissed you, then thats the first time you actually looked directly into my eyes and it felt as if you were trying to steal my soul. We talked about sex, and how awkward it was with him. We talked about our first time and for the split second i found myself attracted to you. After about an hour of conversation about love, sex and all the conflicts that tortured us, you popped out a question. The question that changed things between us forever. As I read your lips say " Are you thinking what I'm thinking ? " my ears couldn't believe what i heard and i automatically like a gun started firing thoughts into my brain. I didn't want to exactly jump to conclusions. After all, you were my friends girl..

Once I replied with " what are you thinking ?" you said " you know what I'm talking about, think about it" Then suddenly as like we were in perfect synchronization we smiled. Deep down I knew where this would lead but I just didn't want to admit it to myself what soon lie ahead of me. I don't think you did either. After sitting on that bench with the cold winter night air hitting us, you wrapped your arms around me caressing my torso, so I soon returned the favor. We just sat there in our own silent minds, both in unison thinking about the same thing, just not speaking it as if we were keeping a secret.

A few days later I found myself looking you in your eyes, all my attention all on you. You gave me a certain type of look as you bit your lips and whispering turn the lights off. So I did. I slowly undressed you as you lie there and your body seemed as if it was throbbing. I knew we were about to sin, but your sex was a blessing. Your fly, like you took a spaceship to heaven. I was just trying to set the mood right, my room was all black and you were shining like the moonlight.

We were both wrong.. but it felt right. You had a boyfriend, but you were single for the night...
I don't know how you were always able to do it. But you always managed to. Every time you wanted it , i delivered. Knowing in the back of my mind it wasn't the right thing to do. It was against my morals. But aren't morals suppose to feel right? This felt so right, but so wrong at the same time. So were does it lie ? All I know is that when George randomly popping up to my house giving me a visit. My heart drop, I didn't dare tell him.. I couldn't even though I wanted to. See, the fact is I knew how much you meant to him, And I couldn't stand there and tell him that I betrayed him, that I tainted his relationship. But was it all my fault? I mean after all she did come to me.. multiple times. Each time quicker than the time it took her to want more the previous time. Was it also my fault because I refused to speak the words " NO " or even mouth them silently. I guess everything happens for a reason,  I mean why else do they happen? Lust over powers a lot of other elements in life and thats where many fall. But since you and George broke up. I no longer feel guilty, even though he one day popped the question that I feared he would. " Did you do stuff with Breanna ?" I didn't have the heart to tell him, even though you two weren't no longer together. I still denied it.. I should've told you. Maybe one day I will ..