Jamez Geiger.

Creative Writing.

                                                                 What If?

I sometimes wonder why everything is in order. Like 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 . . and etc. How would the world be, without A B C D E F G? Would it start in the middle like H I J K L M N O and P? It all just confuses me. How would we be with out order. With out direction. Would everything be ass backwards? Would the world be filled with chaos? What if all of our presidents were black and then one white? How would it be if we erased the past and reversed history. What if whites were slaves and blacks owned plantations. Would all of the whites sing like Martin Luther King? Running around shouting ' I have a dream ! ' What if one day we wake up, and everything was a flip flopped, and turned upside down? If up was down, left was right and black was white, and loose was tight. It's a lot to wrap your mind around, isn't it ?

Metamorphosis.

Like a butterfly, she magically morphed in front of my eyes. Her beauty compelled me, shocked me, stunned me. I was stuck in the moment, like the time froze. Something about her eyes held my face staring directly into her eyes and making my way to her thighs. But her eyes spoke to me, spoke to me as though they had lips of their own. She wouldn't have to ask for much attention because her body already brings it to her and her smile locks that attention up and throws away the key. She's a work of art, one look and just like that I was hooked, hooked on her love. Hooked like a junkie hooked on heroine. I could not get enough of her lips, and when they touched mine a great rush of lust shot all through out my body one of the best feelings i've felt in my seventeen years of living. She doesn't even have to kiss me. I can just look in her eyes and be perfectly content. Those eyes, my oh my, those eyes have me hypnotized.

Viola G.

I care about my grand mom. 

I care about her more than anything in this world. She means the world and all the stars in the night sky to me. Point blank period.

If I actually sit down and think about it, I probably wouldn't be where I'm at right now. I probably wouldn't be in school, live in this neighborhood, have the things that I have.

I probably wouldn't even be alive. So I thank her for everything.

I thank her for each and everything she's done for me. Whatever she does for me, weather it may be small or big, it affects me in so many ways.

Whenever she smiles, I smile. Whenever she's upset, so am I.

Viola is a part of who i am, without her i'd be a lost cause. I would be a lost soul.

I would be a lost everything. If it wasn't for her , I wouldn't even be sitting here writing this, writing about what I care about. All I care about is her. Viola Elizabeth Geiger.

3/23/12

After that , the change was complete. After that love that we made, everything changed. We acted as if though we didn't exist, like we were complete strangers to each other. That passionate night we spent together meant nothing to us or that's at least how we make it seem. We both went our own ways. Although we both knew deep down that we wanted another round. We wouldn't have asked for it, we just hoped it would come along. I guess the temptation was to great to handle for us. The lust was to much to forget about. I wonder if you still think about it like I do. I wonder if you liked it as much as I did. I wonder if you liked it as much as you claimed you did. You said you loved every second of it and honestly I think I did too, even though we never got a chance to finish.

Jamez G.

Creativing Writing.

                                                           

                                                                      Lust .

You wrote to me .. and thats where it all began. We never knew we lived close to each other, so when we first talked we discovered this. Knowing that you were my mans George's girlfriend at the time, we didn't see any harm in becoming close friends. A few days after we talked, i went to meet you around the corner and we walked around our neighborhood for ours. No destination, no time limit, no care in the world. We talked and talked, mostly about senseless nonsense. I made you laugh majority of the time, and i enjoyed seeing your smile spread across your glowing face. You would look in my eyes and then look down as if you were shy to laugh and look at me at the same time. Your little giggle and chuckle was so cute and then we would grasp each others hands not knowing the harm that lie ahead of us. We walked until we found a bench and then we sat down on it. Then we talked about more nonsense.. then thats when it all happened. George's name came up and everything sparked from there, we talked about your relationship with him. You made fun of how he made love to you, you made fun of how he touched you, how he kissed you, then thats the first time you actually looked directly into my eyes and it felt as if you were trying to steal my soul. We talked about sex, and how awkward it was with him. We talked about our first time and for the split second i found myself attracted to you. After about an hour of conversation about love, sex and all the conflicts that tortured us, you popped out a question. The question that changed things between us forever. As I read your lips say " Are you thinking what I'm thinking ? " my ears couldn't believe what i heard and i automatically like a gun started firing thoughts into my brain. I didn't want to exactly jump to conclusions. After all, you were my friends girl..

Once I replied with " what are you thinking ?" you said " you know what I'm talking about, think about it" Then suddenly as like we were in perfect synchronization we smiled. Deep down I knew where this would lead but I just didn't want to admit it to myself what soon lie ahead of me. I don't think you did either. After sitting on that bench with the cold winter night air hitting us, you wrapped your arms around me caressing my torso, so I soon returned the favor. We just sat there in our own silent minds, both in unison thinking about the same thing, just not speaking it as if we were keeping a secret.

A few days later I found myself looking you in your eyes, all my attention all on you. You gave me a certain type of look as you bit your lips and whispering turn the lights off. So I did. I slowly undressed you as you lie there and your body seemed as if it was throbbing. I knew we were about to sin, but your sex was a blessing. Your fly, like you took a spaceship to heaven. I was just trying to set the mood right, my room was all black and you were shining like the moonlight.

We were both wrong.. but it felt right. You had a boyfriend, but you were single for the night...
I don't know how you were always able to do it. But you always managed to. Every time you wanted it , i delivered. Knowing in the back of my mind it wasn't the right thing to do. It was against my morals. But aren't morals suppose to feel right? This felt so right, but so wrong at the same time. So were does it lie ? All I know is that when George randomly popping up to my house giving me a visit. My heart drop, I didn't dare tell him.. I couldn't even though I wanted to. See, the fact is I knew how much you meant to him, And I couldn't stand there and tell him that I betrayed him, that I tainted his relationship. But was it all my fault? I mean after all she did come to me.. multiple times. Each time quicker than the time it took her to want more the previous time. Was it also my fault because I refused to speak the words " NO " or even mouth them silently. I guess everything happens for a reason,  I mean why else do they happen? Lust over powers a lot of other elements in life and thats where many fall. But since you and George broke up. I no longer feel guilty, even though he one day popped the question that I feared he would. " Did you do stuff with Breanna ?" I didn't have the heart to tell him, even though you two weren't no longer together. I still denied it.. I should've told you. Maybe one day I will ..

3 soliders

Jamez Geiger.

                                                                   3 Soldiers.

I’ve been crying and crying for hours, almost days. I lost 3 of my boys, my family. I lost them to unnecessary street violence. Why would a 30 year old man pull the trigger on those kids. Donti Lugo,Javier Orlandi, and Joshua Soto. These 3 boys gunned down. They didn’t deserve it. Nobody does. It hurts me to say that they’re really gone. Especially Donti .. he was the youngest. I loved him, blood couldn’t make us any closer. As I waited outside that hospital in the freezing cold with other friends and family. I was hoping they wouldn’t pull the plug on him. Hanging on by a thread on life support. But he fought long enough and became strong enough to give up. Little do most people know, that Donti was already long gone..

Its killing me slowly, just thinking over and over tears escaping my eyes. Its hard to believe. The memorial was pretty bad. Javier’s mom passed out and fell on me. Shit, I even that was the worst part, until I attended the funeral. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Donti had impact and influenced so many lives. They had to shut the whole street down just for his viewing.I was just in shock. Nothing will ever be the same again. When they passed they took  a part of me with them. Its all still a blur. One day ill see them again.  It still doesn’t make any sense. They were all young, younger then me. They all cant live their lives. They didn’t make it to see 25. Didn’t make it to finish high school. Didn’t make it to have a child one day. I cant ever see their smiles again. Especially Donti’s. I break down to myself. Every time I see their pictures. Donti’s smile warmed hearts.

I try  to forget about it and ‘ move ‘ on …but how am I suppose to move on when my boys are 6 feet under ground . How would you feel if you had to look at 3 of your closest friends in a casket. How would that make you feel ? Dead. Ice cold, stiff, body rotting. As I watched Donti lay in his casket. His ice cold body, looked all rigid and stiff. I thought to myself, that’s not him. That’s not Donti, that’s not my boy. He just didn’t look the same. Like if the person laying in that casket were alive then you compare him to how Donti really looked, they’d be two different people.  I cant help but wonder .. is there really a ‘ heaven ‘ up there? What are Donti, Josh,  and Javy are doing up there in the sky.

Are they looking down on all of us who miss them and are grieving? Or are their bodies just lifeless corpses with no soul, no spirit no anything. Just rotting. I passed Donti’s grave on Saturday and its just really hard to accept. I wonder if he knew he was going to die . I wonder if any of them knew they were going to die this year. Were they ever going to finish high school? Were they ever going to grow up?  I remember last summer Josh told me that if he died in 2012 that he didn’t want people to cry for him; he wanted people to be happy…its kind of ironic. It all just runs through my mind. Everywhere I go I  see ‘ R.I.P ‘ for them all over the place.  Like its crazy how many people were touched  and effected by the death of them.

Ever since they died I haven’t been the same. I don’t think ill ever be the same.

Sometimes I even wonder if life is worth living anymore.   I guess ill find out soon.

  I don’t even care if I die, at first when this all started I thought to myself that I should watch myself. I should be more careful. I should do this; I should do that but when in reality, no action permanently saves you from death, only temporarily. Either way im going to end up in the dirt. So now I don’t even care if I die. Ive been getting the bad vibe that the grim reaper will come to snatch my soul out my shirt one of these days. But when he does I will look him in the eyes and make him realize the pain that he brought to me, to all of us for taking our beloved boys Donti, Javy, and Josh. Our 3 soldiers.